ginger ale, a fake christmas tree and some hope

it is almost 1130 pm and i have a paper due tomorrow that i have barely begun. i am sitting in my apt. in my living room. looking at my fake tree. this is the first year, i have ever had a fake tree. due to my microbial diet, i am not allowed to have anything fresh near me because of bacteria. that includes flowers and also we thought a tree might be dangerous and bacteria filled. we did get soem awesome ornaments though. we have sock monkey-a boy and a girl...ralphie from a christmas story dressed up in a pink bunny rabbit..a squirrel...and we also have a ball that lights up and says "merry f**king christmas". we got it at urban outfitters-it's called a ball of cheer...i put on some christmas music tonight. it is such a weird holiday season.
i actually went to see my grandfather in the hospital tonight and i secretly think it is really hard for him to see me. i can tell even in all the pain he is in, i know that he hates what i have to go through-usually when i speak with him or see him, he begins to cry...this is a very strong willed man that has a bark that is bigger than his bite.. i wore a mask and i have a hat that i wear that is like elmer fudd so i looked completely crazy but i really wanted to at least say "hi" to my grandmother-
i was scared but i thought it was necessary i do it...hopefully in the next week, he will be transferred to helen hayes rehabilitation center.
we are still in the process of looking for a donor-
okay i think this is procrastination at this point..back to work.
xo